Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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