awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Come back. Shots need mouths.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
