thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
