Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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