He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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