the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
