she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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