thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
