If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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