your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just sent this text using only my big toe
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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