Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
