you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
