i think i have two assholes
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
as a side note pls kill me
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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