I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
