She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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