come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
