My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
