seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Randomize