shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
