I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i now understand why vodka
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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