My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We are all done wearing pants today
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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