then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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