Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
