I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
honey bunches of taint.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Randomize
