It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
