Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
