so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
