pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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