It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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