I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
