Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
