a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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