i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
