I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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