my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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