I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
