Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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