I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
