That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
