Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
