I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So much rum. So many feels.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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