after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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