you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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