Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
