dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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