I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
