you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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