just tell him i said nine months
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
