yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I bet he comes in French.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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