I think im going to throw up on grandma
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
