Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
