I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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