Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
