Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
