omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Randomize
