I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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