we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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