If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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