Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
