Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
